How to do a come-back with confidence

Hello my lovelies,

I am back. After almost a year. I needed a break. 2019 has easily been the most important and challenging year in my life. But that is material for a different blog post.
For the ones that read my blog before you will probably recall that I got into a new job last year October.

Unfortunately I developed a burn-out, resulting in me staying home since February.
Then I would have plenty of time to write, you'd say?
Trust me that I felt like I didn't want to.
Being in a burn out is like living in a haze. You are confused to where it began, why it began and when it will end.
If I was going to get back into blogging, I wanted to have something positive to say as well. Not just be a serial complain gal.

For some reason I woke up this morning and felt an inspirational shift in me.
I can't explain or grasp where it comes from, but I feel very grateful and humbled.
As you know from my posts, I view inspiration as energy. I am excited it came knocking on my door this morning. I am not going to ask why. I am just going to do the job inspiration wants me to.

So here is my guide on how to do a come-back with confidence:
 
Get into something you like, anything!

It was hard for me to gather up the energy to be consistent in doing something I like.
I was afraid that through the middle of it, I would just leave whatever I was doing and drop it. I allowed fear to mingle with my available energy.
But then it happened!
I realized how much fun I used to have cooking for my neighbours. There is a Dutch community where you can share your homemade meals online and offer them at ingredient price to locals. I started doing this again. With the positive feedback I've been getting, I have been gradually noticing how uplifted I feel by doing this.
It was unrelated to blogging, but it has helped so much.
This has lead me to my next step.

Re-read your old posts.

I was going through my own blog this morning. I noticed a HUGE shift between my very first posts and the latest ones. I have honestly improved so much and I really got consistent and into it. Reading the comments that people left made me feel really happy and excited.

Engage with inspiration

The thing that I will invite you to do is open up your creative inspiration again.
I did this by using a written affirmation that I looked at daily.
I now invite inspiration and creativity back into my life. I am ready.Repeat it, believe it, and feel it. Trust that it will come. Be sure that you keep a notebook close to you to write down any ideas.

Embrace and park your fear

But what about that little naggy voice? "You've been away for a while, do you think that people will even remotely be interested in what you're gonna have to say?"
I did a post on this before, which can be read here  I say: thank you for doing your job and trying to keep me safe, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Remember that fear does not get to drive your creative mind! Have the confidence that you will do well and keep affirming this to yourself.

Do it

Now get to action. Get writing, get sharing, get back into the community.
Remember to be gentle on yourself.
Do it with joy, be excited, love it.
You know that you got this!

Did you ever do a comeback to the blogging community?
What steps helped you get back in there?

Love,
Rose

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How to do a come-back with confidence

Why it is OKAY to love yourself

💙💙💚

There has been a lot of awareness around loving yourself. You see it everywhere. From Youtube to Twitter, in books and magazines.
I see and know many people who struggle with their self confidence.
We live in a western society where there is a clear image of how men and women should be. Advertised through magazines and movies.
We want to identify with those people and so we put the high standards to achieve that.
There's also this strange thing going on that companies want to hire young and experienced people.
There's people that feel anxious whether they ever get a job that suits them. They don´t feel good enough.
Next to that Social Media plays a big role in feelings of loneliness, depression and and isolation. It's because there's so much feed about how perfect every one's life's are. We forget that people can present themselves the way they want to and so we compare our lives to that standard.

These are just a few reasons I named that explain our lack of self love.
We tend to seek the love outside of ourselves...
And that is the main problem. We make others responsible for us feeling loved.

Why it is OKAY to love yourself:

1. It is not narcissism

Much contradicitary to the TedTalk I saw the other day about a girl speeching how the 'trend' selflove is creating narcissism, I say:
A healthy image of self, respect of self, and knowing who you are and what you are good at - are core things to function in this world.  

2. Equalty

Just because you own self love doesn't mean that you place yourself above others. That is NOT what self love is.
On the contrary: people who take others down do not love themselves.
They need it to feel good about themselves.
What does that tell you about them? Right. You know where I'm going with this.
Loving yourself means you realize that you are equal to others and treat people accordingly.

3. Uplifting others

Self love allows you to uplift others from an honest place. You are not doing it for the sake of being liked by others. It's uplifting others right from the heart. Others benefit from that too.

4. Self compassion

We all have that side we rather not look at. It's when we catch ourselves wishing someone would just drop dead. Then again, that side has to tell us something. It tells us in the very least that someone triggers us. When you sit with yourself and accept all of you, you may find what is underneath the surface. You can find compassion for yourself, understanding that a certain thought or feeling often roots in pain. Bandage that pain through finding that place of compassion for yourself. The only way to do it is to face the music.
You will see that healing and letting go can take place.

5. Treating yourself right

Because of loving yourself, you will treat yourself right.
People know what they have in you, because they know your possibilities and boundaries.
You understand that nurturing yourself through exercise, enough sleep, good food, mindfulness & meditation, and enough you-time is essential to remain a good relationship with yourself and feel healthy. You wouldn't neglect your best friend, so why would you do it to yourself? 

6. Forgiving yourself

Making mistakes as a human being is just inevitable. You made mistakes, and you will make many more. That is okay, because it's a part of life. Learn from your mistakes, and forgive yourself for them too. There's no need to be harsh.

7. What would (self)love do?

I often ask myself this as I am facing challenges in life. A few years ago I got caught up in the midst of a situation at work. It was gossip time. I felt myself getting upset. I don't like gossip as it too much negativity and it often harms others.
Instead of bottling it up, I send around an email and told the team that the current way of communicating bothers me and that I was hoping for a more effective and direct way of communication. I suggested that whenever people where bothered by something, they would tell the person instead of talking amongst each other. Regardless of whether they acted on it or not, I stood up for myself and the team. I choose to not participate or ignore it.

How do you look at the concept of self love? Have you aquired it? Or are you still struggling? Feel free to share your journey <3

Love and blessings,
Rose

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Why it is OKAY to love yourself

Why it's important to let go

Have you ever tried taking a hand full of sand and holding onto it by making a fist?
You would notice that the sand slips gradually through your fingers until you are left with not very much of the original amount.
This is what happens when you to try to hold onto things in life with force.
It eventually slips away from you and it makes the whole process more painful than you could have imagined.

I remember I did that with my first real bachelor study, and my first real job. I stayed and I fought with force.
And it hurt a lot.

There's also been friends and lovers that I've seen come and go in my life.
When I broke up with my first real love it was painful, but it was something that needed to happen for the both of us.
As for friends I can say that some of them are just going to be with you for a certain season.
Sometimes you outgrow each other, and then it can be best to go your different ways. When there is nothing positive that remains in a relationship, it hurts more to stay in it, than to let go of it.


A few years ago I took a walk in our beautiful park.
It was autumn, just as it is now.
When I took a break on a bench I noticed how leaves were falling off the trees.
I thought to myself: Isn't it beautiful that nature doesn't ever resist it's natural phases? It never asks the leaves to come back on, because in the spring there will be new growth.

I believe that when you let go of what isn't serving you any longer, you make space for new and exciting things to grow.
As nature does, we have our own phases and it is the perfect time to see what you've gathered in your backpack what you don't need anymore.
Material things, emotional things, relationships, limiting beliefs, situations that do not make you happy anymore.
Let them go.
It is a good time for reflection.
And you are worth the very best!

Ways to let go:

Visualize
I like visualizing because it's very powerful and when I do one of these it always leaves me with this huge feeling of relief! 

Here is your exercise:

Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.
Imagine that you are in a safe space such as a room or a forest. It's up to you.
In the middle of this scenery you see an object that contains things. It could be a suitcase, a big box, or a bag.
Open it.
You will find something in this box that symbolizes what you need to let go of.
Ask: "What do you represent? What did you teach me?" Release it from your hands and see how it vanishes.
It could float up, diminish into energy.
Continue with the next object.
See how much you've gathered and how much you are able to let go in one sitting.


Make a list
Maybe you are more practical and you wanna make a list of the things that you are going to let go.
What I'd suggest is list those under the different categories there are and also write down an action you are going to take on it, and when.

Letting go in the moment
Finally I want to devote a special little paragraph to the fearful voice in your head that tells you lies all day.
It's that voice that always holds you back from doing what you want and tells you that you will look like an idiot.
I suggest you may wanna try to name that voice. I named mine Dirty Harry.
I tell Dirty Harry to shut it whenever it's about to get in the way of what I want to do.
Another thing you can try is to reverse the thought completely.
I cannot do this becomes I am brave enough to try this.

Reflection time!
What is it that you've been holding onto that you should be letting go of?
Do you have any special tricks you use? 
Let me know in the comments below.

Love and blessings,
Rose

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Why it's important to let go

How we learn to speak

It's amazing to me how mini humans at one point grow up to be adults. The whole process of growing up and everything around it captures me.
Therefor I decided to school myself to know as much as possible for my future dream job.
I'd like to share what I learned about language development. 

The primair goal of of language is to communicate efficiently. 
So, how do we start?
A baby has one very effective way of communicating with it's surroundings. It cries.
And they do so to let us know they need something. A changing, food, protection, or affection. It is a very effective way that ensures this little human that it will get what it needs.
Parents will use baby language. This happens naturally and will get the most attention and response from the young child. They speak in a high tone, with a strong intonation, the sentences are short and a question mark is often used.
What is amazing is that within a month after birth the baby is already able to recognize phonemes which is the ability to make the slightest distinction between sounds in the language. For example the the e in between sounds different at the beginning of the word than at the end. They already learn the difference. Most likely this a nature aspect. We are born with this ability. This process is also responsible for how we learn our first language. It filters to the sounds of our native language. After 6 months the baby starts to babble away making combinations of sounds it picked up listening to it's parents. We can tell that the baby is doing this to communicate as it will do it more often in the presence of people. After 7 months it is quiet when being spoken to and babbles when the other listens. This is the first big milestone in communication.
Two conditions for acquiring language are:

• Listening - they listen to the way words sound and save that knowledge before they can actively speak. We call this the phonological aspect of language.
• Wanting to learn

The second one may sound odd to you, but there are kids that are born with communication disorders.

Autism is one example of that. Early signs may be

• The baby doesn't babble as much
• Seems less interested in social surroundings
• Seemingly avoids eye contact
• Says their first word later than usual
• Does not support words with gestures (example pointing at something)

Kids will usually say their first word upon turning 1 year old.
It shows that for the first time they are able to make a mental representation of something that exists outside themselves. Those first words refer to unique objects or people that capture their interest. Mommy, daddy are common first words. But it could also be their favourite cuddly toy.
With their first words the prelingual phase of language development ends. The early-lingual phase starts
Before their second birthday the will combine words. Mainly nouns and some verbs related to their little world.  One word can have tons of different meanings. Usually the intonation and supportive gestures can make clear what the kid is trying to say. The child progresses to use two word or three word sentences.
Between 2-5 years old they come into the differentiation-period.
They get more sense of grammar but are likely to find exceptions on words difficult. They will make mistakes such as worstest instead of saying worst. The less common the use of the words the more likely they will make that mistake. Between the age of 2,5 - 3 years old the child will learn to adapt the distance between them and the person who is listening. They also understand that that they have to align their message to the language level and skills of the other. They will learn more about the pragmatic aspect of language. Which relates to the social rules around it.
In the school period the language of the child is much more like that of an adult and it will continue to learn more and more about how to use the grammar and expend their knowledge of the semantic side of language. The meaning of the words. They gain the insight that language has rules. Wee call this metalinguistic awareness. Whilst some in Social Learning Theoretics claim that learning language can be induced by rewarding your kid such as reacting enthusiastically when it babbles or speaks, philosopher Chomsky had a different perspective. He believes we are born with the ability to develop language and highlights the originality of a child's language. Like the way they use self-conceived words. He claims kids have their own primitive grammar. He pointed out that they can discover grammar rules and learn to apply them.
I've always been interested in languages myself and how develop them. It is such an amazing thing.
Communication is survival. It's been that way ever since the old age.

Hopefully you found this article that is somewhat different from my other blog posts interesting.

Love and blessings,
Rose

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How we learn to speak

Your heart is your radar, follow it!

As an adult trying to navigate through life, I know how important it is to follow your heart.
After all your heart knows what is best for you.
Haven been at home for the last few weeks, I finally stopped to ask myself what I wanted.
And as another customer service job got offered to me, I found myself in complete panick. I spend all day trying to come to terms with another few months in a customer service position, and it just didn't feel right. I realized it was something I no longer wanted for myself.
When you receive money from the goverment in Holland, you have to accept any job they offer you that suits your experience.
Then a magical thing happened. The very next day someone from a Childcare organisation called me and told me she had my cv and application letter. She asked me to come in for an interview. YES please! I felt my heart do a little dance, and realized what has been happening over the last year.
I'm gonna have to apologize to you heart, I never really listened over the last year.
Only parts of my heart had been able to operate in my customer service jobs.
I was able to spread kindness and have compassion, but my I always had a commercial shadow hoovering over me telling me to hurry up my job.
For the first time I felt so clearly where I belonged.
The interview was lovely and ended up not much later in me participating in a creative arts session with kids. Honestly best interview I had.
Then one week later I received the call. I am hired! 
Which made it possible for me to reject the other job. What a sweet relief

The whole experience has been a big wake-up call for me. I took these customer service jobs to survive. So, that I would be able to pay for my rent, bills, and food. But I was so miserable. I had listened to everyone around me that would tell me having a shitty job is not a big deal as long as you can provide. 

But it isn't the way I see it.
OH hell to the NO! 

You spend 32-40 hours of your week in that place. Best believe you oughta have a good time. All you have to do is pay attention to what makes your heart happy, and then you aim for it. Because letting my heart speak in a job interview is one of the most powerful things I've ever done.

I am so excited! I'm getting my own group of kids aged 9-12 years old and I'm responsible for them having a good time there. It's upto me to offer activities that challenge them to just enough out of their comfort zone to help them grow.
Wanna have a guess what my first activities would be? Yes, cooking!
I spoke to them about it and they seem excited. I'll be turning them into mini chefs.
It seems that my dream of having my cooking club with kids is going to bloom in the next time. I wrote about my dream of that cooking club here
I also want to find out if there's a space where we can do a garden, so that kids can grow their own veggies, fruits and herbs. It will surely help with the appreciation of fresh food.

These are my plans so far. The plans that make my heart sing.
Because it does, I realized that in no way I ever wanna neglect my heart's voice again.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.
So, take a little moment to reflect. What is it that your heart tells you to do right now?
Go ahead. Chase it! It will be so rewarding, I promise.

Love and blessings,
Rose

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Your heart is your radar, follow it!

Learning mexican streetfood at Jamie's

The boyfriend's birthday was in January.
And I'd have the perfect gift for my kitchen-loving guy.
 A Jamie Oliver cookery school gift voucher so that he could select any cooking class he wanted to do in London.
After months of giddy anticipation, last week finally the time had arrived to do our trip over there. 
Laurent selected the Mexican Streetfood class for us to do.
Our location was at Sheperds Bush and the cookery school is situated in one of Jamie's restaurants. We were greeted by one of the staff member's of the restaurant with such politeness. "How may I help you?" He asked. "We're coming for one of the classes" I said.
"Ah you are becoming chefs then" He smiled. "Well, just go straight ahead to the back and you'll find your class there"
"Thanks" The restaurant felt warm and welcoming. It feels like the kind of place where you can easily relax after a day's hard work.
Getting into the back we were greeted by Alice who handed us an apron, pointed out where we could leave our belongings, and asked us whether we wanted some prosecco. Yes, please! 

Chef Jack introduced himself and kicked off the class with telling us what we were going to make that night. Chipotle chicken, homemade tortillas and four different salsas.
I know that Laurent has been wanting to make decent homemade tortillas, so that was an exciting prospect for us. Jack offered us a demonstration on how to properly prepare the rub for our chicken, and got us started on the first salsa. He continued to explain some of the ingredients mixed into the passata and let us have a taste of the chipotle paste. Which I can highly recommend you don't almost eat a teaspoon such as I did, because that stuff is spicy!
Which caused some giggles, and made me think back to my very first experience with wasabi. (That I classically mistook for guacamole the first time I ate it.)
The passata with the ingredients was to be mixed in with the chicken.
He also demonstrated some neat knife skills in cutting up some additional ingredients for our corn salsa and send us to work.
"OK Chefs, it's time to cook. If you have any questions at all let me know," Jack said, and we headed out in couples to our cooking stations. I like the fact that Jack called us chefs. There's something very flattering about it.
Makes you feel like a pro even when you're learning.
We got cracking on the first part of our cooking, preparing everything in order Jack showed us and in no time the place smelled heavenly. 

When we had our chicken and corn salsa going, Jack gave us the second demonstration.
This time on how to prepare our dough for the tortillas prepared with special corn flour Masa Harina and he showed us how to do the other three salsas.
He walked us to preparing the dough, dividing it, and how to use the tortilla press, and frying them up.
When Jack demonstrated the salsas, I actually picked up some cool tricks such as how to make paste out of a garlic glove using your knife.
I also realized that I've been chopping up tomatoes wrong all my life, as Jack told us to put the skin side down because you won't squash the tomato that way. It was that 'aha moment' for me.  I will never forget that now!
He finished up with the demonstration by showing us his end results. The chicken onto the lovely little homemade tortillas and those scrumptious salsas on top. 




Back to work we were. Chef Jack walked around and assisted us with preparing our food.
He gave the class tons of compliments really helped our confidence. I prepared the dough, as Laurent worked on the salsas.
Jack did a final check for me on the getting the consistency of my dough just about right and explained it should feel a little like 'play dough'
Once the tortillas were frying up, we had our food done quite fast and Alice was setting the tables for us to eat.
So, I just proudly wanted to present our end results.
TAAAADAAAA!!

The flavours were a real good thing to feast on. I'm talking big flavours gals & pals. Cilantro, mint, lime, chili. There was spicy, sweet, fresh in the food. It tasted amazing!

The Jamie Oliver cookery school experience was such a fantastic one. It reminds me to do more of the things I love.
If you are ever stuck on what to do in London, and you are a foodie like me, I highly recommend sharpening up those cooking skills over there. If I were to live in London, I am sure that I'd inhabit that place in no time.
The class was so professionally done and good vibes only!
It has that 'Jamie' touch that I'm sure you know what I'm talking about if you've ever watched some of his cooking shows.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this.
I really do hope you leave me some love in the comments.

Love and blessings,

Rose

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Learning mexican streetfood at Jamie's

Goodbye letter to my job

As I step into the office of my team leader my heart sinks a little bit.
Part of me wants to stay. If only for the people I do my job for. But the time has come and I know it. I cannot possibly stay.
"I have really tried my very best for you. I gave it my all to be up to the work speed the company wants me to be. But when I do that, I lose in the quality of my conversations"
She sits there and nods. "You know what I'm good at. You know I give every customer my full attention and that I do my work thoughtfully"
She tells me there is nothing to be changed about the standards of the work speed. "So, it's  matter of delaying the execution, so to say?" I ask. And she agrees with me.
"You have the qualities we are looking for, although if you can't meet the quality versus speed standards..." And I know where she is going with this.
"Maybe customer service is not for me then. And there is no other department here that could put those qualities to good use?"
She tells me there is not. It's a little bittersweet, but it's the right thing to leave.
"Well, I'd like to thank you for everything I learned. It's been educative"
I would finish this workweek and then we'd say our goodbyes.
Here is my goodbye to the job.

Dear job,

What a ride it has been!
A whole new world opened up to me about a topic that I thought I would never learn so much about. It was interesting and overwhelming at the same time. I am truly grateful for the opportunity of learning how to deal with difficult people and staying calm with them. It wasn't always easy, but in at least 8 out of 10 times I was able to solve the problems for customers.

In other cases I have been able to spread some kindness into people's days. I remember this elderly lady that told me that her husband was going to leave her after 50 years of being married. They had spend all those happily married until the sudden death of their daughter. I remember listening to her and showing my empathy. I even teared up a little. I asked her if there was something that I could do and she told me to change her last name into her maiden's name so she wouldn't be addressed by her husband's name the next time. I changed it, of course.

I advised many people into the right incontinence materials for them, so that they could get out of their social isolation. If that isn't serving a greater purpose, I don't know what could be.

Unfortunately I cannot stay. They don't want me to, but I don't want to either.
We could have given it some more time I suppose, but I prefer to be somewhere my qualities can flourish. Somewhere I don't have to feel guilty for giving my full attention to the people I do it for. Time pressure is not for me.

And so I'm waving you goodbye. It's time for my next adventure.

Sincerely,

Rose

I may be without a job currently, but I am positive that I will find something that will be a better match. I have learned a lot in the last six months. I do not regret taking the job in the first place, and I feel no grudge for having to leave. I am excited to see what the future holds! 


Did you ever get fired? How did you feel and what things did you do to deal with it? 

Love and blessings,
Rose

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Goodbye letter to my job

Who can I buy a coffee?

Dear bloggers,

There's plenty of us who put in soooo much work and energy into their writing and who do it for just the fun and love of it. Those who aren't getting paid.
Those do deserve not only all the love and support, but also a nice treat.
I was thinking how I can give more support than just my appreciation for their work.
Then I remembered that buy me a coffee button and I decided to check it out.
I love this way of supporting, because it's an easy and fun way to do so. Guess what? I am going to be buying some bloggers coffee to give more love. I installed my button on the right side of my blog.
Here's where you can get yours: Buy me a coffee
You can either get a free or fancy gold version of the button. I'll leave that upto you.
I am looking forward to doing this!
Let me know if you have a blog with a coffee link that you need me to check out.
Consider this my thanks to all of you for your creativity, support and love!

Love,
Rose

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Who can I buy a coffee?

Study tips that will get you ready for exams

As the sun hit my bedroom, I knew it was time to get up and prep myself for one more round of exams before my holiday.
I do a lot of theoretical exams these days, and I thought I would share something that I learned when I was learning the ins and outs for this particular subject.
Something that will help you to get ready. But first let me help you understand something about the way your memory works.

We have 3 types of memory sitting in our brains.
1. The sensory memory
It has a big capacity, but it only holds information for a few seconds.
2. The short term memory
It can hold just a select amount of information for a shorter time. 
3. The long term memory
This is when we remember things that we learned a longer time ago. You took in the information, saved it and are able to find it back.
This happens through
*Being triggered when you recognize something. Let's say you haven't been to a certain city in a long time,  but when you are there you will still be able to find the way.
*Reproduction. The ability to recall a memory out of nothing. For example: you will remember the lyrics to your favourite song.

So, how do we make sure that we remember important information?
First of all we have 'attention'
Attention works like a filter. The stimuli comes in to the sensory memory, and it's dependent on how you zoom into the information as well as motivation whether you are going to remember it.
If you want to score well on your exams, this shouldn't be a problem.
It then enters your short term memory after which the information will need an active editing to make it to your long term memory.
You can do this through the following methods:
*Repeating the information
*Catogorizing the information
*Special reminders or mnemonic aids

What is my strategy? 

1. Reading the book and marking  the important parts

2. Making a brief summary of important information

3. Creating a mindmap and catogorizing the information with different colors

4. Making test exams to test my knowledge

5. Making up mnemonic aids to remember the information that didn't make it so far

Here in the Netherlands we have a grading system going from 1-10.
5,5 means you passed the test. 10 is the best you can score.
I usually score between 7 & 8,5 with this method. Which is upto my satisfaction, because I don't have to be a superstar.

Here are some other ideas:

*Record the important information on your voicerecorder and listen to it.
*Share your knowledge with others.
*Turn the information into something creative like a blog or a vlog.- See, what I'm doing here?
*Do anything with the newfound knowledge directly in your workfield/internship. Take it into the world. 

For those of you who are also still in school, I would love to hear your methods for remembering.
Have you blogged about it? Please insert links below.

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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Study tips that will get you ready for exams

"Just be you"

There has been a time that the quote: "Just be you", really frustrated me.
It always confused me too, because I didn't think I was anybody else than me.
Until I started to realize that I would adapt and comform to the surroundings I would find myself in. I didn't have this realisation until just recently
There's a past of bullying which had made me greatly insecure.
As well as being a child as the adult version of work place bullies coming from a place of jealousy.
And so, I became more careful. 
With every negative experience I had, I would feel a little less like myself, and became only a version of what I thought the people around me wanted to see. 
In workplaces I would choose to never shine too much or show my real qualities which would lead me to submit to the shadow of other people.
And in my personal life I would always put others before myself. 
Not showing them who I really was, and it lead to loss when people understood that I had my own boundaries. It was because I never showed them before. They found it hard to accept and broke up the friendship. I can't say I blame them, because I showed them a different version of myself. They didn't know what friend they really did have in me.
I remembered a time and a period where I would shine.
I would wake up happy and would do a little dance in my room.
Then I would extend that lightness over to my workplace and the kids, and colleages I was working with. I was doing great. In this period my friendships were more offering more stability as well.
It puzzled me for a long time. Where did that version of my younger self go off to? 
How was I able to let go of the experience of being bullied the first time?
Then one day, I realized I was done being the version of that was adapting constantly.
So, in the midst of a new workplace where I was clearly different from the rest of my colleages I decided: It now is time to just be me.
Then I remembered a 15 year old me. One that had eventually decided to ignore her bullies and walk her own way. One that broke the cycle and refused to be victim.
And somehow that was the trick.
Not giving a flying figs what others thought about me. Realizing their opinions were not as important as what I thought of myself.I let go of my adapted self. I let go of my past. 
Let me tell you how amazing that feels.
I am now moving forward to new and more exciting opportunities in life.
With fresh courage.
I wanted to share my thoughts about when you feel like you are not quite like yourself anymore and give you some ideas on what to do.

Do things from your heart

Don't just do things just to please others. Especially when you are not doing it 100% from your heart. It eventually leads to resentment of others.

Speak your mind

Something about another bothering you? Do not let these feelings bottle up until you explode. Instead, communicate through 'I' messages. For example: 'I heard you say... that makes me feel... I wish we'd...'

Let go of what others might think

If you are anything like any human being, you are probably a star at filling things in for others. "Now surely they must think I'm ingnorant idiot" "She probably thinks I'm dumb"
Can you read minds? No! The best thing would be to test your theory and just ask what people think. You'll see most of the time it's not even true.
If it does happen to be true, you can choose to let go of it and not invest any further energy into that person. Like I mentioned: it is far more important what you think about yourself after all.

Boundaries 

One of the most important things I learned is that it is OK to have boundaries.
Boundaries make that people respect you, and you can show them in a polite way.

Correct your inner critic

We do all have that voice that can make us feel even more insecure. The one that says: "If you do that, they will think that you are stupid. Don't do it!"
Whilst that voice is perfectly helpful in life threatening situations, it isn't very helpful when it comes to daily life. Correct your inner critic with challenging it: "Is this true? How do I know that is true? Do I have prove for that?"

Write down your qualities

You know yourself best, right? Make a list of your best personal qualities and make them into "I am" statements. "I am kind" "I am caring" "I am a loyal friend" "I am a good listener"
Give them a place on your wall or carry one around to remind yourself who you actually are as a person.

Shine on, shine on

Regardless of how others respond to you, never stop shining on!
You are beautiful. Do not step into other people's shadows because you feel like you don't deserve to show yourself. Embrace yourself 100 % and deal with jealous people and debbie downers from a place of compassion. Remember people that react from fear are just as insecure as any of us. Just deal with them head on through communication of the 'I' message.

In conclusion: The only one who can define you, is you!

Has there ever been a time that you struggled with losing yourself?
When was that and how did you deal with this?

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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"Just be you"

What Bridget Jones and I have in common

What a raging succes were the Bridget Jones' books.
We all loved her. Her clumsy charm, akwardness, the fact that she wasn't perfect, but still a hopeless romantic.
I thought I would devote this blog to what I have in common with Bridget Jones. One of my favourite fictive characters.


Clumsy

Remember that incident where Bridget made a tumble of the bike in the gym? I have totally been there! I was doing some hardcore biking at one of those spinning cycles when I stopped, my legs felt all wobbly and I had no balance. So, I fell with my ass on the machine right next to the bike. Thank god, it was quiet at the time.

Another situation that is simular is that time in the fitting room of a store.
(This scene is only in the book by the way)
I had seen this cute dress that I wanted to try on and grabbed my size. But the dress was rather tight around the chest. Once put on, I didn't manage to take it off resulting in an episode of me trying to desperately trying to take of that dress in the fitting room.

Awkward

I can just be as awkward as Bridget is. When in a surrounding where I'm not sure what is expected of me, I can get quite uncomfortable. When being hired at my last job the manager introduced herself to me. Instead of replying with my name as any normal person would I replied: Ayay captain! Rose is reporting to the ship.
She just glanced at me in suprise and didn't quite know what to say.

Everlasting weight battle

I have been battling my weight since early twenties. I know the struggles and the jojo effect all too well. In the last book she was on healthy weight, but became pregnant.
I would see that kind of irony happening to me as well.

She's had her bad boys and her mysterious introvert guys

I have been there. The charming, all talk, but no walk type. The type of guy that will replace his old pair of shoes with new ones before throwing them away. Then later trying to charm me again. Yeah, uhm no thanks then!
But I've also had my Darcy. 
The introvert, and mysterious one. Hard to swoon, based on logic, but romantic deep down.

Not giving up


When Bridget had to leave her job due to bad boy drama, she didn't give up and found a new career in television. I've never given up on mine either. Once I lost a job, it took me only a day or two to start applying for new ones.

Writing

Just like Bridget, I keep a diary for my own sanity. Writing a diary helps to get life experiences out, and gives the opportunity to reflect on them later.


Writing this blog post was incredibly fun to do.
Which makes me wonder: what do you have in common with your favourite character?
Would you consider blogging it?

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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What Bridget Jones and I have in common

A boyfriends guide to a womans week

Hey guys,

This one goes out to you. We need to talk.
Look, I know you won’t be able to understand this as well as us women do, but a lot of us feel really horrible on our week.
Yes, I am talking that week. The woman’s period.
You will probably notice a few things about us such as we’re more stressed, emotional, we can experience mood swings.
Those commercials for products we need to use that week are highly misleading. No, we do not feel like swimming, running, dancing. So, please don’t believe them.
We feel like binging on Netflix and ice cream and an irrational amount of our favourite snacks.

Guys, here is how to survive:

We are in pain

Our back, our legs, our belly, our shoulders. Yes, everything can hurt.
Be a dear, and carry that grocery bag for us.
Belly rubs, and warm water bottles are very welcome too.

 

Do not overask us

Whilst we like to do little things such as making you a cup of tea in the evening, it can just be too much to ask for in that particular week.
We have to study/work and after the day is done, so are we. Leave us alone or bring us a cup of tea instead.

Bring us the foooood

If we ask you to bring us a burger at an unholy hour, go get it. We will be very grateful.
If we didn’t ask, and you get us our favourite icecream: you deserve a golden star!

Don’t. Look. for. Discussion.

Or there will be moody hell to pay. Understand that we are very hormonal, and we do not like discussion. Don’t try to be: Mr-I-Am-Right.
Do us a favor, and save it for the boys at the bar.
A real no-go is the taunting: awww are you on your period?

We may be emotional

No, nothing terrible happened. We will burst out in tears for no reason. We may have the need to watch really sappy movies  Do not let it shock you. Just give us a hug and be sweet to us.


I'm wrapping this up.
Ladies, show it your guy.
And also, what is your favourite way to deal with the ladies week?

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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A boyfriends guide to a womans week

When failure leads to future victory

 

I used to be so afraid to fail when I was younger.
When you give something important a try, all you want is to succeed right?
What I learned though throughout the years is that failing is this epically important thing.
When I quit my first bachelor program at first, it felt like I had failed.
I had really battled that bachelor and held onto it with great force.
I repeated the same year 3 times.
And when I quit, I felt that I had let my parents down.

At the time I was working with kids as a side job, and when I started doing it more for a living,
I realized that I wanted to do more than just organize their daily activities after school.
I wanted to really help and go more in depth.
That is how I started the bachelor that I am currently doing that teaches me everything about
kids & parents and the process of upbringing.
I was actually quite grateful for not finishing that first bachelor so that I could get to do
what I really wanted.

My relationship with failure changed.
It made me braver and try out things that I wouldn’t have in my early twenties.
I decided at one point that I wanted to make a career switch to work in customer service.
I needed a job that would provide me with more stability.
From a terrace in France, I received an e-mail from a job agency.
They were looking to hire somebody in the office.
I called them right up and convinced them over the phone that I was a good fit for them.
You know what? I all did it on good bluff.
They invited me to come in for a trial day.
I ended up working there for a few months until all my coworkers and me weren't needed
there anymore. The service center stopped existing.
That job ended up getting me into world of customer service.
It is almost one year ago to the date that happened.
I started working for a provider of internet, television and mobile phone's next
and there I found while I was perfectly happy solving the problem, I didn't like the part where
I had to make a sale. From there I rolled into my current job that actually isn't that
aggressive on their commercial part. They provide people with what they need.

Other epic failures that happened was when I organized this event
and literally nobody showed.
It gave me the chance to review where it had gone wrong and had me trying again.
At the next event people actually showed up. It taught me so much.

Then finally I want to talk about my own personal journey of maintaining a healthy life style.
It has been a life's work, but I'm finally getting it.
I know what works for me, because I know me best.
Where a few may be able to achieve at a cold-turkey method. No this, no that.
Instead this and that. My changes have been gradually building up. It's a step by step method.
It's really empowering to see what I've achieved over the last few months.
There is still work to do, but I am getting to where I want to be.
Thank god, for the past fails!

This is my shout out to all of you who will inevitably and epically fail.
Turn the obstacles of failure into your stepping stones,
and may it lead you to great places!

What is your relationship with failure like? Do you fail and try again?
Do you allow yourself to learn from what hasn't worked for you?
Tell me about it!

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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When failure leads to future victory

How to make life light through playfulness

Oh, the sweet wisdom of kids.
Our youngsters.
If only us adults would take more from them, life would be so much easier on us.
Trust me.
 
I have worked with children for 10 years. Through the fabulous creativity, shared love, kindness, and little life lessons: many of them actually taught me.
I was a willing student. 
They taught me to appreciate all the seasons and be one with nature again.
When I started working with children, I learned that accepting nature's phases actually healed my seasonal depressions for me. I was outside with them a lot.
Through falling leaves, snow fights, rainy days and hot summer.
 
When I was 21, it was actually quite a shock for me to discover how serious I had been taking my life.
I had lost all of my playfulness, and felt the weight of adult life pressing on me. It was to be expected I would finish that first bachelor study.
I wanted to.
I felt if i didn't I wouldn't be quite as worthy in society as the rest of the people.
In working with kids I learned that I was fighting for a program that wouldn't make me happy in the very end, and so after a while I made the decision to quit.

I had my new mission: working with children.
And my side mission? Learning playfulness again from my excellent little teachers.
I played tack climbed even if my adult body with a lovely muffin top didn't like it anymore.
Through the kids I reconnected with my favourite childhood activities such as coloring, drawing, dancing and making epic stuff out of lego with them.
 
As of late I have been working a more serious job again and get what?
Oh, how serious I have become.
One year out of my original workfield and I am this serious again.
No wonder: there's a lot of responsibility on my shoulders.
Then the other day, as I was doing an inner child meditation I saw my younger self playing on the beach happily building sandcastles and I burst out in tears. I realized how much I really miss being around children.
And then I stopped and realized what I am really missing for the moment is being playful.
I started thinking on how to get that element back in my life for a third time.
And here's what I want to share about it.

Dancing around the house

Music always lifts my spirits. Turn up that tune, do a little dance. It lifts your mood and helps you not to take things so seriously.

My favourite childhood activities

I love to color. It relaxes me and brings me joyful childhood memories.
Other things I loved to do when I was a kid was horseback riding, singing, and watching Disney movies.
I still do all of those things to make sure my inner child gets her fun

Humor

Jokes are the best! I crack them often and even do a little pranking at times. Nothing that is ever too mean to others though.

Curiosity

The world is this place full of miracles. I never stop being in wonderment of it, and am always looking to discover new things and be amazed.

Play

In the mundane of this life, I always try my best to think of ways to make normal things more fun. When I was working a warehouse job I would race my coworkers in who would get boxes stacked the quickest


So, how about you?
Do you still allow yourself to play and connect with that inner child of yours?
What were your favourite childhood things?

I would love to hear from you!

Love and blessings,
Rainbow

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How to make life light through playfulness

Life update: mid-year reflection

Isn't it crazy that it is already july? It feels like yesterday that I welcomed 2018 into my life.
Before I know it, the months seem to be gone.
What did I actually do so far?

Found a new job

Fresh start, and I guess... fresh job.
I work a customer service job that serves people in their medical materials.
To be specific I take calls for the department of urology.
Simply said: people who have no control over their bladder call me for their things.
I also help to advice in the right use and right materials when needed. I Iike it when I get 'difficult customers'. I know it sounds crazy, but they give me something to work for. There's usually some extra arrangments I have to make for these cases, which is challenging. I am a person who likes to be challenged in what I do.

Healthy eating

Oh, it's been a journey.
An overwhelming one at that. I have been on this journey with ups and downs.
In February I finally gained control over the wheel and decided I had to start somewhere. That somewhere was cutting out drinking soda's in the weekdays. I only allowed myself to have one or two in a weekend.
Then I started taking salads to work to eat for lunch. After that I made eating breakfast a thing. I am a difficult eater for breakfast. I just feel like I can't get anything but coffee in. I found myself the perfect breakfast solution. Some yoghurt, some oats, some fruit and a little fruit juice.
This way I get everything I want for my breakfast in a drink. 

Excercise

Another up and down journey, but I am happy to say I have never been this stable in my work outs.
Starting last November the biggest break I had from the gym were two months because of a strain on my right back hand. Just very recently it's healed enough so I get to go back again. I am even confident enough to start my Zumba classes very soon.

Domain name

I am officially with domain name for my blog. In blogging I have also been rather consistent. Which is something I am proud of. Sure, I do need a little social media break sometimes to refresh my energy. Nothing wrong with that.
I'm back to rock and roll lads and lasses!

This has been my mid year so far.
What is coming up? More focus on study and all of the above goals. 
I have learned that little changes can lead to a pretty big one.
I am very excited to see where I am at the end of the year.

What have you done and achieved so far?
What are you proud of? Any wishes for the next half year?

Love,
Rainbow

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Life update: mid-year reflection