Monday, May 21, 2018

'But you are good like this...'

I think many girls and also guys can relate to the topic of being very conscious of their body image.
We live in a world where it's always hot topic. 

Either we judge people that are underweight or people that are overweight. When we are a healthy weight we may not be happy, because media does still not show a realistic image of people.
And the topic is a very sensitive one. 

Meghan Trainor attempted to make a 'love your body' song with the: All about that bass.
Which pissed a friend of mine of who has been struggling with anorexia most of her life now.
I also heard a story from someone I know who's a model.

Somebody had come up to her in the street and had told her off for being so thin. 
"Why don't you eat like a normal person?" She responded to this with an angry Facebook post, venting about how this 'fat bitch' had dared to body shame her and used the hastag #nothingtastesasgoodasskinnyfeelslike
I understood that she was angry, but failed to understand why she responding with such hate.
I have seen heartbreaking printscreens that go around Twitter where people are openly being shamed for being either one of the two. Or for being neither of the two. Just for the sake of shaming. It's sickening really.

For the people who have  insecurities about their body: I feel you. I have such compassion for you. It is not easy. I know that. I have felt that. 
I have thought all of these harsh things about myself.
But not anymore.

To me it is clear that many of us struggle to love and accept ourselves and no matter if we are a normal healthy weight, overweight or underweight that struggle with body image is real. It's how people experience themselves. And it is not OK to judge it harshly in any way.
I am writing this post to gain awareness of that.

As somebody who has been going up and down in weight for more than half of my life I would like to share something. 
I have been trying to just get down to a healthy weight.
I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder in my early twenties. I had no idea what a healthy day of eating looked like, because I never learned. I was also an emotional eater.
These days I am doing lots better and I'm making real steps to achieve a long term healthy weight. 

It is a journey that I've come to like, because I am discovering so much.
Through failing that journey before, I exactly know what to do and what not to do.
I am doing this to be healthy. Not because I hate the way my body looks. In my family there's heart diseases and diabetes. So, I am very realistic when I say that I want to drop that weight.
I've tried to gain understanding from people around me about that. I always have to explain myself and listen to word vomit. But there have been a few people that really want to support me. It's a handful, but I feel really happy that I have those! 

As I am only 157 cm/5 ft 1, my perfect weight would be around 59 kg/118 pounds. I would still have playroom to gain a little bit and not be overweight.
Never judge anybody's journey.
And here is a list of things just never to say. Ever. OK? 

These are real reactions I've come across.  

  • 'You may be a bit fat but at least you look good'
  • 'I couldn't picture you any other way. If you got thin, that just wouldn't suit you'
  • 'Just go to the gym a little bit more and work on your body'
  • 'But you don't have to lose weight. You are good like this'
  • 'Let me give you some advice. Try to avoid carbs'
  • 'When offered a snack, you just say no'
  • *After starving myself for two days* 'I can already see that you lost some weight'
  • 'You are just going to have to stick with your diet.' 
  • A 'friend' after reading psychology magazine 'Emotional eating is not a real thing according to this magazine'

How do you make sure that your relationship with your body changes in a positive way?
Do you recognize any of the issues that I've mentioned?
I invite you to start the conversation.
In case you need help or support, do not hesitate to contact me. I will support you! 



  1. It amazes me that people can be so hurtful towards others around body image. I've had my fair share of comments too for being small and not only is it personal, it gets bloody boring after a while too! x x
    Ellis //

    1. It is super stupid that people do this. I wish people would just stop to think about the effect their words have on others x

  2. I can definitely relate to this! I've always been either underweight or just at the very bottom of the healthy range if we're talking in terms of BMI and it's just my natural frame. I'm perfectly healthy being small. For some reason people don't seem to think commenting on your weight when you're smaller is insulting though? I've always been perfectly happy being smaller so it doesn't offend me but it gets boring after a while for sure! x


    1. Yes, right? People amaze me in that way. and not a good one.
      I bet half of the time they don't even realize what they say when they say things like that. Or how insulting it can be.
      It is boring x

  3. It's extremely sad that people still body-shame others... They have no idea how it effects others. I wish people were more careful about what comes out from their mouths // Great post, my love!

  4. 100% relatable and its kinda sad that people in the comments can relate to, what did we do to end up in a world where commenting on peoples apperance and weight and all of that become such a major issue... so sad. But such a well written post x

  5. It's heartbreaking that people feel the need to comment on other people's bodies, and make someone feel bad about their appearance just because they have a different body to them. I've struggled all my adult life with body image, my weight constantly going up and down, binge eating and not eating, I've spent this year trying to conquer my body insecurities but every comment (negative or positive) can still knock my confidence and bring those insecurities right back up.
    Thank you for sharing your story, inspiring others to share's theirs and start a conversation on a topic that affects so many of us.

    Emma x